This was a year. I think we can all agree on that, right? Okay. Good.
We made it, friends. It's over. The world is breathing a sigh of relief before they stand on guard for what 2021 holds. The 2021 memes have begun and there is still a little time left on this 2020 clock. I have a hunch that most celebrations will be memorable tonight.. maybe not eventful, but everyone will remember how they spent these final minutes. There's a lot to celebrate as we close out this unbelievable year. Me? I'm in my PJ's with my parents hoping that we can just stay awake.. I even took a nap today with hopes that I could make it to see the clock turn to a fresh start.
But honestly? I guess I just don't feel like celebrating very much. All week I've struggled with the joyous posts and blogs and articles about FINALLY ending this horror of a 365 days. I even struggle with the posts about how it was a good year and how it's important to focus on those things more than the bad.
Maybe I'm just weary and worn. Maybe I'm jaded. Someone will probably tell me that both are true of me right now.. but I just have this sinking feeling that I'm not alone in my "Non-celebratory-attitude."
I guess am not entirely ready to say goodbye to this calendar year because I guess I'm still grieving all that was lost in it. It was a blur of cancelled plans, missed family at holidays, postponed weddings, goodbyes rather than hellos, rescheduled plane tickets, last opportunities that have flown out the window because doors had to be locked. It was an incredibly hard year of hard and heavy growth that I am still processing.
There was good. I do not forget that. God is good and has shown His faithfulness over and over again. I am so grateful for that.. but, yet, I grieve.
I think that it is important to stop and understand that it's okay to grieve while still being thankful. Ecclesiastes 3 is such a well known passage, but I think we forget to actually apply it to our lives and our interactions with one another. Read through the truth of these 9 verse for just a second:
We made it, friends. It's over. The world is breathing a sigh of relief before they stand on guard for what 2021 holds. The 2021 memes have begun and there is still a little time left on this 2020 clock. I have a hunch that most celebrations will be memorable tonight.. maybe not eventful, but everyone will remember how they spent these final minutes. There's a lot to celebrate as we close out this unbelievable year. Me? I'm in my PJ's with my parents hoping that we can just stay awake.. I even took a nap today with hopes that I could make it to see the clock turn to a fresh start.
But honestly? I guess I just don't feel like celebrating very much. All week I've struggled with the joyous posts and blogs and articles about FINALLY ending this horror of a 365 days. I even struggle with the posts about how it was a good year and how it's important to focus on those things more than the bad.
Maybe I'm just weary and worn. Maybe I'm jaded. Someone will probably tell me that both are true of me right now.. but I just have this sinking feeling that I'm not alone in my "Non-celebratory-attitude."
I guess am not entirely ready to say goodbye to this calendar year because I guess I'm still grieving all that was lost in it. It was a blur of cancelled plans, missed family at holidays, postponed weddings, goodbyes rather than hellos, rescheduled plane tickets, last opportunities that have flown out the window because doors had to be locked. It was an incredibly hard year of hard and heavy growth that I am still processing.
There was good. I do not forget that. God is good and has shown His faithfulness over and over again. I am so grateful for that.. but, yet, I grieve.
I think that it is important to stop and understand that it's okay to grieve while still being thankful. Ecclesiastes 3 is such a well known passage, but I think we forget to actually apply it to our lives and our interactions with one another. Read through the truth of these 9 verse for just a second:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;"
There are two sides to every story. If I haven't learned that from this year, then I have had my head in the sand. Regardless of your opinions or preferences, there is always another side to everything. While I rejoice over something, a brother or sister may be mourning that very thing. The moment I forget this fact is the moment I lose my sympathy.
It's okay to feel like now is a different season for you than it is for the rest of the world. If it's a time to mourn, then that is just fine. We missed out on a lot year. We lost a lot.
If you are celebrating and dancing and laughing tonight, then know that I am rejoicing for you and I am so glad that you have been able to let go and start fresh at midnight... I can't wait to be at that point.
Whatever season your heart is in, remember this one thing: God is there and understands each season. That's the only thing that I have been able to hold onto for 365 days. There have been countless times where I have been unable to even think a prayer let alone murmur it, so the prayer became a plea for God to just hold me while I wept.. it was a time to weep in the arms of my Savior. There were countless times of walking through seasons of casting away: Casting away plans, hopes, dreams.
But through it all, God's presence has been the constant. The thing about these seasons of life that bring so much emotion is that we are never alone in them. Even when I humanly trudged through them alone, He was there.. holding me, loving me, leading me. When I tried to ignore His presence because I wanted to throw a pity party of not getting what I wanted, He was there. Waiting. Loving. Leading.
The other thing about these seasons of life that I have to remember is that they are just seasons. All seasons begin and all seasons give way to another. Where this is mourning, there will be rejoicing. Where there is planting, there is harvesting. Where there are moments to shut up, there are moments to speak truth. Nothing is forever. God doesn't leave is in mourning. He doesn't leave us in the labor and toil without rest and fruit.
While I am sadly waving goodbye to 2020 because I am still processing and letting go of all that I mourn, I must also understand that the time to rejoice is coming. Some of you are there. Please be gracious with those of us who are sad to say goodbye while we try to rejoice for you. We cannot be complacent and refuse to move forward. But don't do it just because the rest of the world is celebrating. We cannot forget that the person in a different season of life tonight is a human being trying to make it though until midnight, too.
Maybe no one will read my late night ramblings, but maybe one person is in the same boat as me. If that's you, then remember: For everything there is a season. For each person, day 365 is a different season than their neighbor.
There are two sides to every story. If I haven't learned that from this year, then I have had my head in the sand. Regardless of your opinions or preferences, there is always another side to everything. While I rejoice over something, a brother or sister may be mourning that very thing. The moment I forget this fact is the moment I lose my sympathy.
It's okay to feel like now is a different season for you than it is for the rest of the world. If it's a time to mourn, then that is just fine. We missed out on a lot year. We lost a lot.
If you are celebrating and dancing and laughing tonight, then know that I am rejoicing for you and I am so glad that you have been able to let go and start fresh at midnight... I can't wait to be at that point.
Whatever season your heart is in, remember this one thing: God is there and understands each season. That's the only thing that I have been able to hold onto for 365 days. There have been countless times where I have been unable to even think a prayer let alone murmur it, so the prayer became a plea for God to just hold me while I wept.. it was a time to weep in the arms of my Savior. There were countless times of walking through seasons of casting away: Casting away plans, hopes, dreams.
But through it all, God's presence has been the constant. The thing about these seasons of life that bring so much emotion is that we are never alone in them. Even when I humanly trudged through them alone, He was there.. holding me, loving me, leading me. When I tried to ignore His presence because I wanted to throw a pity party of not getting what I wanted, He was there. Waiting. Loving. Leading.
The other thing about these seasons of life that I have to remember is that they are just seasons. All seasons begin and all seasons give way to another. Where this is mourning, there will be rejoicing. Where there is planting, there is harvesting. Where there are moments to shut up, there are moments to speak truth. Nothing is forever. God doesn't leave is in mourning. He doesn't leave us in the labor and toil without rest and fruit.
While I am sadly waving goodbye to 2020 because I am still processing and letting go of all that I mourn, I must also understand that the time to rejoice is coming. Some of you are there. Please be gracious with those of us who are sad to say goodbye while we try to rejoice for you. We cannot be complacent and refuse to move forward. But don't do it just because the rest of the world is celebrating. We cannot forget that the person in a different season of life tonight is a human being trying to make it though until midnight, too.
Maybe no one will read my late night ramblings, but maybe one person is in the same boat as me. If that's you, then remember: For everything there is a season. For each person, day 365 is a different season than their neighbor.